Well its monsoon time again that's for sure & though living on a tropical island during Monsoon can get you down a little here at Big Blue we are still full of the joys of stupidity! Here's a bit of fun to while away those rain soaked hours!
Top 5 Practical Jokes to play on Scuba Divers-
1) Honest, pull my finger, I did jam it on my tank.....2) Scatter fake rubber alligators around the springs during open-water checkouts.
3) Pee in your buddy's wetsuit.
4) Fill student tanks with helium for pool session.
5) In an out of air situation, hand your buddy a real octopus.
Top 10 Pick-up Lines Instructors use with their students-
1) Do you believe in love at first sight or shall I swim back and forth a few more times?2) Excuse me I'm lost. May I go home with you?
3) I'm looking for a French Angel with large gills, and I think I've found her — are you French?
4) Do you have change for the 'phone? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl (man) of my dreams.
5) I can't find my pet crab – can you help me find him? I think he went down to the deserted end of the beach.
6) You must be Jamaican, because Jamaica me crazy.
7) I like to maintain my own equipment — you look like someone I'd like to "tinker" around with.
8) I'm new at the resort — could you give me directions to your room?
9) I think there's something wrong with my regulator. Could you hold the first stage while I check out the second stage?
10) Please excuse my panting - I am out of air, because you take my breath away.
Silly Scuba Jokes.
Three instructors and their students are on board a dive boat in the middle of the ocean— there's a NAUI instructor, a PADI instructor, and an SSI instructor. Everything is going fine, until the boat springs a leak, and starts to sink. The SSI instructor says to his students, "Okay... we're in the middle of the ocean, so we might as well do our deep dive." The NAUI instructor says to his students, "Okay... we might as well do our navigation dive, so let's get our compasses out and swim towards shore." The PADI instructor says to his students, "Okay... for $25 extra you guys get to do a wreck dive!" 
This man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the man and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years!" he says. She reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!" Then she asked, "How long has it been since you had a drink of whiskey? He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips the waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!" Then she starts unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you had some REAL fun?" And the man cries out, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there, too!"
A dive boat runs into a terrible storm. The boat gets pounded by rain and wind and huge waves. The divers are quiet but really scared. They are sure the boat is going to sink and they are all going to die. At the height of the storm, a young woman jumps up and exclaims: "I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit here and drown like an animal. If I am going to die, let me die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to make me feel like a woman?" One of the dive masters stands up – a tall, handsome, muscular man, he smiles and starts to walk up to her. As he approaches her, he takes off his shirt. She sees his huge muscles – already, she is glad for her decision. He stands in front of her, muscles bulging, shirt in hand and says to her: "Here! Iron this!"
Two divers were checking a new reef when they saw a shark. The shark circled them, menacingly. One diver took off his fins and reached inside his BC and pulled out a pair of super-power fins. His buddy signalled: What? You can't outswim a shark! The diver signalled back: I don't have to outswim the shark - I only have to outswim you!
Two divers go spear-fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. The first one says, “I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish.” The other answers, “Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot.” “You idiot!” cries the first, “How do you know we will get the same boat tomorrow?”That'll do for now! See you when the rain stops!
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